Monday, March 30, 200910:31 PM
Once for Twice.
Just now, Mum and I had a long long chat over supper.
Such chances are kinda rare already, I must say.
Anyway, we talked about christianity.
Well, some of you might be going "=.= i'm so gonna stop reading this."
That's up to you guys, I don't really care.
I shall just continue.
I bared my feelings about that topic to Mum.
I have complete faith in God, I believe that His existence is true and that He is in Heaven, waiting for us.
But there's just something stopping me from going to church.
As much as I really want to be enthusiastic in my worship in Him, I dread going to church.
I know I'm such a bleaughhhhh christian.
Or maybe I'm not even fit to be labelled as one?
It's not because of rising up early even on Sundays.
It's not because I feel that it's a waste of time.
It's not because I need Sundays to rush out my homework.
It's not because I can go out with my friends on Sundays.
But it's because... I'm too shy, I guess.
Seriously, you guys might go "Huh?! Amanda?! Shy?!"
Yessss I am super shy in church.
It's like there's 2 different people living in me.
I don't dare to do what a mature, developed christian would do.
Like.. sing out loud in worship. I don't dare to.
Pray out loud to God. I don't dare to.
Cry out loud to God. I don't dare to.
And going to church means doing these things, isn't it?
Even if it isn't so, it's just a matter of time, right?
I really really wanna go to church.
I really wanna be a matured, enthusiastic christian.
I want to spread the word of God.
I want to be baptised.
I want to go to Heaven to meet God.
But these things are holding me back.
I know they sound lame, or maybe you might think they're excuses.
But seriously, they're not.
Believe me, will you?
Anyway... Mum told me that by faith alone, it's not enough...
I always thought that everything was just by grace, through faith.
So it's not that simple...
Oh well...
Anyway, thank you guys so much if you read all the way up till this point.
I'll be going back to church on Sunday.
For your info, I haven't been to church like say.. 2-3 months?
That's like a super long period.
I hope things will go on smoothly.
And that I'll return home, yearning for more Sundays like that.
Wish me luck okay people?
Thank you! (:
P/S. Please tag me to tell me if you have read this entire post. It's rather neccessary. Thank you!
